WTF?

I'm really not sure what to make of this. Do I think it's creepy and sad, or do I wish I could do that too??

Flashback Thurday - Red Sonja

Red Sonja - 1985

Oh my...what can be said here.

Starring Brigitte Nielsen as the title character with a red mullet that was put all of Georgia to shame. It was like a hair helmet!

Also starring Arnold Schwartzenegger as NOT Conan. Sure they changed his name to Kalidor, but we all know who he was supposed to be. Just because you couldn't get the rights to the name, don't try to pull the wool over our eyes.

And as the bad guy(girl) was Sandahl Bergman as NOT Valeria. You can see the desperate attempt to make this a "Conan" movie but with none of the budget or writing talent. They tried as hard as they could to remind everyone that it was related to Conan by using the two stars of the Conan movie.

They should have skipped Ernie Reyes Jr and cast Gerry Lopez (Subotai) as Prince Tarn and gone for the trifecta.

This was NOT Conan and it was NOT a good movie. But like usual, I watch it everytime it comes on tv. But I did surprise myself by not buying the dvd.

IMDb Rating = 4.3

Gaming Ads of Yor - The Minature Case

From Gryphon Games comes...The Miniature Case!

Sure, there are a ton of options now-a-days for carrying your miniatures in, but back in the days this seemed like the premiere way of getting your mini's from point A to point B. Look at the craftsmanship in this black & white, cartoon drawing! That's quality you don't see everyday. I always wanted one of these, but there was no way my parents were gonna spring for a $75 shoebox with hinges. In fact, that's exactly what I DID get...a shoebox with duct tape hinges.

If only they were still around, I might actually buy one of these bad boys.

Flashback Thurday - Legend

Legend - 1985

Fresh off a string of successes, Tom Cruise stars in this fantastical tale of good and evil, of unicorns and goblins. If you can get past seeing ol' Tom in a scale mail mini dress, you're in for a really good movie.

Directed by Ridley Scott, one of my personal favorites, this seems to have everything going for it. It has a sorta dreamy quality to it and it stars Tim Curry as EVIL!!! I defy anyone to identify who it is if they don't already know.

I'm a little surprised Tom didn't try to convert Evil to Scientology.

IMDb Rating = 6.1

Another Legend Lost

We lost another legend on Sunday May 16th.

Ronnie James Dio passed away from stomach cancer at 7:45am.

While I know not everyone will know who Dio is and some may not care, I'm a huge fan of that little ball of awesomeness. I've been a metal head since my highschool days and his music was a big influence on me. I was a metal guitarist for many years and his music was always something I could look to for inspiration and a good injection of metal energy.

Surprisingly, his music and lyrics quite often touched on D&D-type influences from early band names (The Electric Elves, The Elves and then just Elf) to song titles and lyrical content with music videos to match:

Holy Diver

Mystery

I never had the opportunity to meet the man, but he had a profound effect on my life and he will be sorely missed. Everyone has their own musical tastes and opinions, but to me, Ronnie James Dio will always be the quintessential heavy metal voice. I defy anyone to listen to his music and not be at least a little pumped up by the end of the song

Bi-Weekly Poll - Strangest Creature Name

A lot of votes this time for Favorite Post-Apocalyptic Scenario. Lets see who won...

With an impressive 34% most of you are hoping for a good old-fashioned Zombie Apocalypse to ravage the world and turn us all into gun-toting, hot rod driving, zombie vigilantes. Seems oddly appropriate being Zombie Awareness Month and all.

In 2nd place was Nuclear Holocaust with 27%. Here's to you Nuclear Irradiated Insects

3rd place belongs to Natural Global Disaster at 11%

4th place with 9% is a nice Dimensional Rift

tied for 5th with 6% was Vampire Overlords and Machine Uprising. I think we could have had a clear winner with Cyborg Vampire Overlords.

6th place belongs solely to Alien Invasion and 4%

and dead last with 0.0% is Conventional World War. So much for bullets and bombs. Clearly we need something other-worldly to shoot at once the world comes crashing down.

This Bi-Weekly Poll I wanted to revisit some of our long lost friends,:the slightly unused and highly un-pronounceable creatures with the Strangest Names

Gaming Ads of Yor - Aftermath!

Delving into the depths of Dragon Magazine, I was able to pull some of the ancient scriptures from the rune encrusted pages.

First up is an ad for one of my favorite genres...Aftermath!

Like our previous entry, DUNGEON!, this has a title that is yelling at you to buy it, and so I did!

While the concept is great, and the level of realism are second to nine, Aftermath! suffered from OVER-Realism. You literally needed an engineering degree, which I failed to have at age 12, to understand all of the rules. Hell, there was a two page flow chart just to run combat! Although it had it's short comings, it was still a hoot to try to play just for the post-apocalyptic factor.

Here we see a typical wasteland warrior that is certainly NOT Mad Max, as that would be copyright infringement. Looking at it again, doesn't his head kinda look like Sting from Dune?

Flashback Thurday - Mazes and Monsters

Tom Hanks kills a Gorabill (?)

I couldn't actually find a trailer for this made for tv movie, staring Tom Hanks, so I posted a couple of my favorite Mazes and Monsters scenes. The first we find Pardue (Tom Hanks) wandering through Pequad Caverns in search of adventure when suddenly he is set upon by the evil Gorabill. This is the first time we see Robbie Wheeling separate himself from reality before his short trip to Coo Coo Town.

In the second scene, Robbie had BECOME Pardue and followed the little voices in his head to The Two Towers, or as we in the really real world call it, The World Trade Center. He thinks that if he jumps off the tower he can find his long lost brother. In a touching, heartfelt performance that would certainly ensure his meteoric rise to stardom, we watch as Tom Hanks plies his trade and jerks the tears right out of our D&D loving heads.

IMDb Rating = An Astounding 4.2

late again...

Like usual, I'm a day late and a dollar short, but I just found out that Frank Frazetta passed away yesterday. Just wanted to post a couple of influential pictures from his extensive work. Still boggles my mind that there are people in the world that can create things like this...

Gaming Ads of Yor - Dungeon!

Ah yes, DUNGEON!

The board game with a title that seems like its yelling at you.

I remember saving my allowance for weeks so I could afford to buy this magical treasure in an oblong box. I spent many a day playing this game with friends from the neighborhood. Strange, I could get them to play this, but not D&D itself.

As we can see from the photograph, its good, clean fun for the whole family. Even though it looks like their living room is actually just a decorated alleyway outside a pizza joint. Is that a lawn chair that little Jimmy is sitting on? Well, I guess at least he got his family to play with him. Mine wouldn't play with me...I feel so neglected.

is this what dysfunctional feels like?

Zombie Survival Training

Here are a few Zombie Survival Simulators to help you all "Get to da choppa" alive and un-biten.

The Last Stand

The Last Stand 2

Endless Zombie Rampage

Zombie Bite Calculator

To further raise Zombie Awareness this month, I would like to feature another Small Quiz you can take to determine just how long it would take before you became infected from a zombie bite. Take a minute to see how long you would last before your friends and loved ones would have to put you down.

My personal score was 1hr 20min

100th Post

According to my public school mathematics...this will be my 100th post!

Unfortunately, I'm not really sure what I should write on such an occasion, so I'm taking a note from Trey over at From the Sorcerer's Skull and posting one of my very first Dungeons & Dragon's characters. 

Flashback Thurday - Ator

1982 brought us a vast array of movies that would embarrass the academy awards, and Ator was their leader.

This train wreck was difficult to even follow much less enjoy, but somehow I still managed to do just that. There is something about people off the street pretending to be actors pretending to be characters swing swords that sucks me in every time.

This starred Miles O'Keeffe as Ator. I like to think of ol' Miles as the Casper Van Dien of the 80's

IMDb Score = 2.3

Zombie Suvival Checklist

I would like everyone reading this to take a few moments a fill in their own Zombie Survival Checklist. 

An minute of preparation can save you a lifetime of brains

National Zombie Awareness Month

For those of you not in the know, the Zombie Research Society has declared May as Zombie Awareness Month. So lets all do our part to prepare for the coming apocalypse before its too late.

Here is an outstanding resource to help you along your path to ultimate zombie survival:

The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks

Here is a test to help gauge your survivability in the inevitable rise of the living dead

Zombie Survival Test

Remember: Organize BEFORE they rise!

Comic Strip Tuesday - The End...Again

From Dragon Magazine #54

Forgotten Strip #2 sees our party enjoying their newly found riches. Auric finally gets some decent armor. Although, changing from a mesh half-shirt to a uni-tard with a frightened woman's face on it is a debatable upgrade. Khellek gets a discount Doctor Strange costume complete with a disco collar cape and Lady GaGa gloves and matching belt. And Tiarra...gets a cape. Seems like someone got short changed here. Anyways...

Before they have a chance to put on a really quality fashion show, a low rumbling shakes the room. Seconds later a massive Purple Worm bursts through the ground and looks destined to consume Auric, uni-tard and all. Fear not true believers for Khellek's magic can stop the beast!

Or can it?

Unfortunately, I couldn't find any further comic strip adventures for these three heroes so we are left to wonder their fate forever.

Dungeons & Dragons: Vegas Style!

I'm not a big gambler. In fact, I don't really like it at all...I hate giving my money to other people like that. But I saw something that might make me want to check out an online casino, at least for an hour or so.

Dungeons and Dragons Slots

Dungeons and Dragons: Crystal Caverns 

B-Weekly Poll - Favorite Post-Apocalyptic Scenario

Another poll is in the books. Lets see what you had to say about...

Favorite Wizard!

Our winner this month with 25% of the votes is...Gandalf!

Congratulations Gandalf, I'm sure you deserved it.

Coming in second, barely missing the top spot, is Merlin with 21%

Tied for third with 13% we have Mordenkainen and Raistlin

In forth place with 9% is Vecna

Fifth Place with 5% is Khelben Blackstaff

Sixth place is another tie with 3% staring Elminster and Dumbledore

and bringing up the rear with 0.0% is your favorite lich and mine...Azalin

I would like to give an honorable mention to Thoth-Amon who I somehow forgot to add to the list. I have a feeling he would have done rather well too.

This time on Bi-Weekly poll, we changing gears a little and going back to a genre I mentioned in a post earlier in the month: Post-Apocalyptic. More specifically, what is your favorite Post-Apocalyptic Scenario? If the world were to come crashing down tomorrow, and you were a survivor, what would you most like to deal with in terms of adventuring?